22 December 2009

Renzo: Proofreader Extraordinaire



Me and Chuckie made these for Renzo's birthday. Isn't it cute that there is no date mentioned on the flier? It is not.
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15 December 2009

Old Sketches, Spades






















I made a print of this drawing for my brother, who buys all his classy poker art off Ebay. It's probably in his silverware drawer or laundry room. Maybe it's still on top of my mom's refridgerator where it can be appreciated by all the dust and cereal boxes, with all the other prints I made special for them.
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Old Sketches, I'm Behind



















On an awful day, an awful bastard broke into my car and stole a basket that contained my first sketchbooks, all my eggs. I'm going to dig through what pages I've salvaged and post them. Hopefully this will motivate the part of me that used to draw. It will.

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10 December 2009

All I Want For Christmas (Under $30)

1: My Fabric Shaver died last week. You may already know of my well-spoken love for this machine but only a few have learned of it's untimely demise. 8 years with this machine was not enough.






















2: I admit it. I think of a Slap Chop too much. Mostly, everytime I make a salad and during the prep of my famous one-handed dinners. Though, I'm a skeptic, on more and more occasions this seems like the answer to my immediate, cookin' dinner-all-alone problems.

3. Salad Spinner! I hand-dry lettuce. How lame. I have a irrational fear of spending $25 on a salad spinner and still can't believe these things cost so much.
Corduroy Trooper Hat-Black
4. I'm sooo cold. So cold, I want a trapper hat.

5. Any versatile Jacket or Blazer. Hmmm...
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01 December 2009

I Dream Of Lotion











The semi-arid state of Colorado makes me feel like a raisin. Therefore, I am saving up for some La Mer. It will be delirious. I'll leave Neiman Marcus with the tiniest $100 jar of cream, people will laugh and their wicked laughs will turn into gasps when they witness the moisture.

La Mer - Creme de la Mer - Neiman Marcus
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25 November 2009

A Bolt Goes Up

My pink Baby Bolt "Wiz" was just shipped off to England. Meanwhile, her clone is being made and shipped to Gemma at Child Style Magazine. I am so excited. I am so swamped. The guilt of not writing a blog entry since my son's 1st birthday has overwhelmed my need to complete tattoos, magnets, portraits and creatures, not to mention the logos, photos and company blurb. Phuh! Shut up! Bed first. The list tomorrow.
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22 October 2009

The Black & White of Cupcake Prep

This cupcake-making is serious business. I am actually on pins and needles, nervously getting my two recipes together for the man's double birthday.
One set of apple spice cupcakes and another strawberry with vanilla. My mind creates a too complicated web of how the flavor of the cake will coincide with the flavor of the decorations and toppings. Not to mention the perfect little liners are somewhere fartin' around in Canada. Much to far to order at this point.
Things to remember: the little guy is just gonna destroy it. Also, this is supposed to be fun. Well, the skeleton-themed party is kickin my butt. I hope what started out simple will stay simple. My sweet baby Miles is number One. Next year, pinata!

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16 October 2009

Talkin 'Bout Coraline

So far, I bought the blue wig, which needs a serious trim and styling.
All that's left is to make one of these outfits for to make Kyra
Coraline. I love stars all over the place so, I'm thinking the starred
sweater outfit would have the most impact for halloween. We can do
glow in the dark stars, spray paint some boots blue and poof... cross
it off the list.
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14 October 2009

Spooky, Little Girl


This is a warm-up for my little detroit painting. Makes me miss the odopod. Makes me want to download photoshop brushes, which makes me want to learn how to make my own. In this sketch, a spastic, coughing, mini zshanna's personal space is being invaded by Newport 100's.

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09 October 2009

Best Served Cold


We have another mouse. Since, I've never set a trap before I have to go to bed without. Sweet lord. Make my pug a mouse killer.

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08 October 2009

To Do


October is my favorite month to do anything. So, I'm sharing my todo list with you. I haven't had much time to write, so, I'm just gonna have to hope this interests you. As a bonus, enjoy this picture sequence of my lover feeding then throwing a pea at my son's face. You can see a green blur rolling across his table in the final, most brutal shot.
1. Sweet Monkey Mobile for Michele Kelly by October 30th - make 5 small felt monkeys this week.
2. Tiny Goat Companion for Lisa Williams - to take to Vietnam.
3. Album Cover for Alan Worcester (from Mt. Calvary Elementary) - Awesome!
4. Business Cards for Dawn Medina.
5. Miles B-day invitation... today.
6. Cupcake Truck business plan by Feb.
7. Karate Chop USBANK in the taint/switch to a credit union.
8. Make more magnets/themes - Facts of Life, Blood, eyeballs, pugs...
9. Make new etsy & blog banner
10. Make Halloween costume for Lauren, Kyra, Miles, Chuckie, Myself & Shaina.
11. Plan Miles Black & White skeleton Birthday.
12. Make Rorchach pillows before party.
13. Order Soap Making Ingredients/Decide on name, print labels - Baba Soap Company, Na Baba Soap Company, Baba Doll Soaps... can't decide.
14. Learn more about letterpress.
15. Fix a permanent idea list to the wall next to my bed.
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01 October 2009

Zombie Boob of Doom

Sometimes I forget to report the big news. Inflammations and infections draw in the sickest of mothers... so, one would think that my boob swelling up to the size of a loaf of bread would be blog-worthy. Alas, I forgot to tell you. Has anyone heard of mastitis?
August 30th, the night of Jessica Smith's birthday party, I went out and had 4 beers. The next day I woke, commented on how GREAT I truly felt and 15 minutes later, I was on the floor, teeth chattering, with the chills. A full-blown infection had come over me. Chuckie was looking at me with the oh-please-look that he saves for moments when I'm in the most pain; moments such as during labor, child-birth, flus and other ailments. Under the covers by now and terrified by the quickness with which the feeling of death was coming over me, we called the nurse line and she said I needed a hot bath and antibiotics. Why do we get the sickest on the weekend? I had to live with my large, swollen boob for a full 48 hours before anything would make it better. Not to mention, the boob is connected to the chest and thereby connected to the arms, so no lifting of any sort was impossible. It hurt to move my fingers, it killed me to walk. Chuck had to take 2 days off work and clean everything I normally do. Needless to say he was not a happy camper 3 days in. It's only a little funny that I had to get infected to get any rest around here.
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29 September 2009

Post-Partum Post


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Almost One


My sweet child is growing like a madman. The closets are stuffed with clothes he never had a chance to wear, things he's grown out of. In a month, Miles will be one. When I think back to what was going on in our lives a year ago, working, being big, terrified and anxious, this is much better. He still hasn't met his grandma Dawn or his uncle Alex. What suckers! Look at how great he is.
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23 September 2009

Teething Hell

He sleeps no longer. It's 11 pm and he's babbling at my feet. When will this stop? He's fed, changed, bathed, fed, changed and fed again. By now, he's overstimulated, overtired, you name it. What is it about this age? It must be teething. Just as soon as you think you get a good rhythm going a couple molars push up to ruin the party. Poor guy.. it is so hard to stay patient after a long day with no time alone. Tomorrow, I will find the baby Oragel I somehow managed to lose and start his bath, book, feeding routine at 6:30. He's over-tired and in pain and I feel like a jerk. 
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15 September 2009

The Hot Dog Cart / Trailer - Profit Calculator

The Hot Dog Cart / Trailer - Profit Calculator
If Hotdogs are $1.25 a piece it would take 22 days straight to make a profit. But after that it would be all profit, with the exception of a few fees during the years. You can sell cupcakes for more, $3 a piece, cookies for $2. The sweets are faster profit but perhaps more hassle. Let's see... be right back.
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Speaking Of Sweet Dreams


I need investors! I need time! Cupcake trucks are really popular in hip places... like San Francisco and such. This is my dream. Why didn't I ever do it? I can call it the "fast cookie" or "the infamous cookie" or "cupcakes a gogo" or "mighty muffins." I want to decorate it and fill it with my sweets so bad. Please, imaginary pocket books, give me what I want.
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Cupcakes Take The Cake: Cupcake truck in Bay Area: Sweet Ride

Cupcakes Take The Cake: Cupcake truck in Bay Area: Sweet Ride
This is my dream! Except, with cookies. I need a motivated friend.
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Is This Thing On?


Does anyone remember when I used to draw? I do.
Oh, hard times... when will ye end? Can't I have 40 hours a week to do what the good lord wills me to do?
I haven't got much of an urge to go out like I used to, but the urge to wander is stronger than ever. Before, I could spend half the day just getting to a spot to sit. When I got to it, I would draw. I love my son. Sometimes, it's easier to forget a little bit of who I was, in order to live with who I am. I have accepted that some parts are paused, and feel blessed that the others are growing fast. I must do something for myself soon and resist the urge to cut my own hair.

PS: Paying rent is crappy. Mice are crappy. I want a bag of cash.
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14 September 2009

Ghost of Christmas Past


Today, I dedicate my blog entry to my friend Michele Kelly, who bought me this lint eradicator 9 years ago when she was Michele Caldwell. I have lovingly photographed the machine, all taped up with it's tummy filled. After all these years, it's only on it's third round of C batteries and I still use it on everything (and everyone). If, God forbid, it ever stops working, I shall get it dipped in bronze.
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09 September 2009

I Love My Vacuum / Son


It's very important that I tell you how much I love my vacuum.
For starters, I feel like an utter failure when Miles eats hair, so I do it at least once a day. Overnight, it has become a large part of my day, everything rides on the satisfaction it gives me. Mind you, I have not had a carpet to vacuum for 6 or 7 years. So, I researched the bare floor vacuums, bought an awful one, returned it and later ended up with this gem. It was free, 'cause Aunt Violet loves me. I recommend this little Dirt Devil. It works great and only costs about $40 bucks. I have attached a photo of the person I am vacuuming for. His face just swells with gratitude.
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Christmas In August



I made this card and pendants for Jessica.
The first is a string of firecrackers, cause she is a string of firecrackers and the second is a wee child dancing to Love Cats. Next on the list, make something for grandma Sharon. Heck, I leave a message on her answering machine and she squeals with delight. She'll lay an egg if I actually get around to making AND sending her something.

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...Not To Blog


While pregnant, I was warned to enjoy my sleep, and get plenty while it was possible. Future mothers, I cannot stress this enough. This situation would be ideal with an endless supply of money lying around, a constant flow of patience. As it is, I am a tense ball of wiry, hungry nerves and it seems the only patience I can muster is for my son and, completely out of nowhere, my dog. There will be none left for the parking lots, or for my boyfriend. Will I ever truly give up the F word? Is it possible to putter through life without it?

So, eight days has passed without a posting. I have made many things instead. I made a parking ticket today, instead of a blog. I cleaned 1400 files today, instead of a blog. I paid a bill, instead of a blog. I made a sundae, instead of a blog. I drew a picture of a girl from high school, instead of a blog. I walked to the park, instead of a blog. I've probably breast fed my son fifty times since my last posting...
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29 August 2009

Jessica Is A Firecracker


Trying to come up with a present for my Jessica, googling the word firecracker turns out to be the most gruesome thing I could have done before bed time. I have been known to hit the image search button with my eyes covered. I forgot this time and found a hand blown to pieces.. It's like the cirque du soleil. it's all amazing, people flying anywhere, everywhere and for a moment you forget that it is possible to fall. Then someone bounces off there butt, the crown gasps, he gets back up and the flying continues. That little guy falling reminds you that what they are doing is next to impossible to do without getting hurt and suddenly every flying body is more special to you. Everyone's life is hanging by a thread, and you can't take your eyes off of it.
This firecracker photo is like that. Motherhood is like that too. I see a sick child in a commercial and I rush to check that my sleeping baby is still breathing. Any movie where a child dies makes my entire body weeps with emotion. This takes me by surprise.
Let this firecracker be a lesson to you. We can fall. It's amazing how often we don't.
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28 August 2009

Idiocracy


The project I'm continuing requires me to remember little stories. I am forced to think of my past experiences and I come up with nothing. Unless of course, you are interviewing me for a job or something then, inappropriately, stories are all I can think to talk about.
As far as small talk goes, I am rusty. My easy, bartender speed of banter is suffering and my recall too. What memory I had before my son arrived is gone. The days of actually having a photographic recollection of where I left my keys are gone. The pleasure I felt to try and then actually succeed in remembering where I put something small is no more. Your birthday: gone.

A mother's memory suffers when estrogen levels that run enormously high during pregnancy drop after birth. It can take anywhere from weeks to 6 months to see this effect in the mother.

*Other symptoms of low estrogen in a new mother are sadness, hopelessness, fatigue or exhaustion, poor concentration, confusion, a fear of harming the newborn or yourself, mood swings characterized by exaggerated highs and/or lows, diminished libido (sex drive), feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, uncontrolled crying and with no known cause, over-concern/over-attentiveness for the newborn and/or a lack of interest for the newborn, appetite changes, sleep disturbances, resentment, memory loss, feelings of isolation.

I have two very rabid pet peeves. The first is being made to feel stupid or flaky when I have always prided the contents and abilities of my brain. The second is feeling uncared for and unappreciated.
I have had some of these symptoms and now I know there is a reason for this feeling. This is all normal. I can go on with my day and stop feeling like there is something wrong with me.
New father's should be legally forced to absorb and sympathize with such information. I will warn my son.

A link for the care of new, suffering mothers.

*Information referenced New York Presbyterian Hospital Website.
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Soap & Smells


Hand Soap & Refill Set from Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day
I have a few soaps. The one in the bathroom, Dove Cool Moisture, is awful. Even with my hands down at my side, it's lingering smell gives me a headache. Maybe it's my super-human mom nose but I can't take it and I don't have to because the handsoap in my kitchen is so nice that I make the trip. Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day in Lemon Verbena. I have wanted to buy something from her line for a while now but it never goes on sale. I bought it anyway. Only five bucks and it's great. Plus, it's thick, long-lasting, so it makes it worth it and I just saw online that they offer a refill. Phew. I can finally sleep at night.
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26 August 2009

Sock It To Me


Monster-Munch Meat Monster And Plushy Pencil!: Speaking of Sock and Glove, It was brought to my attention that Monster Munch is making plushies out of Pepper's Ashi Dashi socks! How beautiful. I wish I had more time to get to some ideas, that is, before all the good ones are taken.
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A Good Black Man


What crafty nonsense shall I accomplish with my pug? Today, postcards, mugs... tomorrow, the world. I really don't know what to make in his likeness. I am not the one who purchases such a thing. Focus groups are welcome. What should I do with your black pug? How will I convey their speech impediments?

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20 August 2009

Hot Diggity!


City Folk Art pieces - Personalized Family Portrait / Story / Memory by mamazshanna on Etsy
I made a listing today! Amidst the sandwich making and Miles, who doesn't feel like eating anymore, I actually found a moment to photograph and list one of my pieces. Soon to follow are fresh CFA ideas. For now, I am offering to make a portrait of a family or a memory for you. You don't need a perfect photograph for me. Just something for me to go off of. Perhaps a link to your facebook...

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17 August 2009

Finally a Photo


These are photos of my missing painting.  Last known whereabouts: The Fabric Lab on Colfax. It's probably in some dark crevice somewhere, being over-looked, forgotten, lonely... shaking.
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Garden Update



I have a lot of plates to balance. I'm doing a poor job of idea keeping. Where is my tiny notebook anyway? This reminds me, there are postings I never followed up on. I never told you about the fate of my seedlings...
The weather was rainy from spring through half of the summer. My seedlings hated every minute of it. Whatever I was supposed to do to the soil, I did not do. It got compacted and I didn't get a single tomato until august. I picked and ate one determined little jalepeno. No strawberries, no peppers, maybe two asparagus beans, some bitty cucumbers.. and a crappy ton of tomatillos. It's October and I just pulled the last of the tomatoes off the plant. They are ripening in a brown paper bag in my kitchen. Sigh.
Next year: Soil! Soil! Soil! Organic matter matters! And no more seedlings, I will purchase my plants and plant them in threes. I will put the strawberry in it's own box. I see the error of my ways and will make up for it next year.

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