29 August 2009
Trying to come up with a present for my Jessica, googling the word firecracker turns out to be the most gruesome thing I could have done before bed time. I have been known to hit the image search button with my eyes covered. I forgot this time and found a hand blown to pieces.. It's like the cirque du soleil. it's all amazing, people flying anywhere, everywhere and for a moment you forget that it is possible to fall. Then someone bounces off there butt, the crown gasps, he gets back up and the flying continues. That little guy falling reminds you that what they are doing is next to impossible to do without getting hurt and suddenly every flying body is more special to you. Everyone's life is hanging by a thread, and you can't take your eyes off of it.
This firecracker photo is like that. Motherhood is like that too. I see a sick child in a commercial and I rush to check that my sleeping baby is still breathing. Any movie where a child dies makes my entire body weeps with emotion. This takes me by surprise.
Let this firecracker be a lesson to you. We can fall. It's amazing how often we don't.
28 August 2009
The project I'm continuing requires me to remember little stories. I am forced to think of my past experiences and I come up with nothing. Unless of course, you are interviewing me for a job or something then, inappropriately, stories are all I can think to talk about.
As far as small talk goes, I am rusty. My easy, bartender speed of banter is suffering and my recall too. What memory I had before my son arrived is gone. The days of actually having a photographic recollection of where I left my keys are gone. The pleasure I felt to try and then actually succeed in remembering where I put something small is no more. Your birthday: gone.
A mother's memory suffers when estrogen levels that run enormously high during pregnancy drop after birth. It can take anywhere from weeks to 6 months to see this effect in the mother.
*Other symptoms of low estrogen in a new mother are sadness, hopelessness, fatigue or exhaustion, poor concentration, confusion, a fear of harming the newborn or yourself, mood swings characterized by exaggerated highs and/or lows, diminished libido (sex drive), feelings of guilt, low self-esteem, uncontrolled crying and with no known cause, over-concern/over-attentiveness for the newborn and/or a lack of interest for the newborn, appetite changes, sleep disturbances, resentment, memory loss, feelings of isolation.
I have two very rabid pet peeves. The first is being made to feel stupid or flaky when I have always prided the contents and abilities of my brain. The second is feeling uncared for and unappreciated.
I have had some of these symptoms and now I know there is a reason for this feeling. This is all normal. I can go on with my day and stop feeling like there is something wrong with me.
New father's should be legally forced to absorb and sympathize with such information. I will warn my son.
A link for the care of new, suffering mothers.
*Information referenced New York Presbyterian Hospital Website.
Hand Soap & Refill Set from Mrs. Meyer's Clean Day
26 August 2009
Monster-Munch Meat Monster And Plushy Pencil!: Speaking of Sock and Glove, It was brought to my attention that Monster Munch is making plushies out of Pepper's Ashi Dashi socks! How beautiful. I wish I had more time to get to some ideas, that is, before all the good ones are taken.
22 August 2009
20 August 2009
City Folk Art pieces - Personalized Family Portrait / Story / Memory by mamazshanna on Etsy
17 August 2009
I have a lot of plates to balance. I'm doing a poor job of idea keeping. Where is my tiny notebook anyway? This reminds me, there are postings I never followed up on. I never told you about the fate of my seedlings...
16 August 2009
There is a little bubbling in this batch. It was a big deal to me but no one seemed to mind. This batch I must seal the frames before I lay down the drawing and epoxy. They will be perfect!
Oh, they are made to order and happily-priced at:
$25 for smalls / $40 for mediums.
15 August 2009
The Nun & Jamboxes are nowhere to be found. I can't even find a photo of my missing painting. Did it ever exist? Then, Miserable Miles kicked my ass for two days with a fever of 102˚ and two nights of no sleep. The second night I had to sleep on the floor with him in the living room, breast-feeding every twenty minutes or so, with him in my lap, working on the computer with my right hand, 'til 6 am. I finished my work in time and Wednesday went smoother until I went out to my car the next afternoon. Someone busted my window out for an ipod that could be bought for $40!
Now I gotta go to the salvage yard, get a window, install it, hope my door doesn't get screwed up in the process. Then I get to take my money and buy Nathan Campanella another ipod. Crap. I forever hate thieves. I would have given them the ipod, just don't touch my little volvo. There was a baby seat in the back, for god's sake. Nothing happened today. Nothing at all. It was great.